


but i can count on you to tell me the truth (when you’ve been drinking and you’re wearing a mask)

by ladystark



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26941330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladystark/pseuds/ladystark
Summary: It’s not until he finds Steve leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette and sunglasses back on, that Jonathan has no idea what to say to him. He’s not great at confrontation and feelings, and it slowly dawns on him that there’s a good chance that Steve wouldn’t want him here, seeing him like this. That maybe Steve just wants to be left alone, and doesn’t want to talk to anyone, especially Jonathan Byers.(or, Jonathan comforts Steve at Tina's Halloween party.)
Relationships: Jonathan Byers & Steve Harrington, Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington
Comments: 2
Kudos: 95





	but i can count on you to tell me the truth (when you’ve been drinking and you’re wearing a mask)

**Author's Note:**

> hello again. two fics within two weeks is very unusual for me, and i'd hesitate to call this "good," but it's a written piece of work that exists, which is more than the duffer bros can say.  
> i think about the unseen moment of jonathan comforting steve at the halloween party a lot, and since the show itself refused to give it to us, this is my...attempt at what could have been. something to tide me over until steve and jonathan get their shared six words to each other in st4, at any rate.  
> title is from halloween by phoebe bridgers.

In the short amount of time it takes from dropping Will off to pulling up at Tina’s house, Jonathan considers backing out and going home about one hundred different times.

Parties aren’t his scene. It’s not just because Jonathan hates the music that plays at them, and because he doesn't like being squished into a living room with a bunch of other sweaty teenagers, and because drunk people always make him think of his dad. It’s because they serve as yet another reminder that Jonathan doesn’t belong, has never belonged, and  _ will  _ never belong. That he’s always going to be on the outside looking in.

Even as a child, when it was pretty much an obligation to invite all your classmates to your house for cake and games, he was always aware of how unwanted his presence was. The kids would ignore him at best and actively make fun of him as a game at worst, he could always tell that the parents were gossiping about him and his mother in the kitchen, and they could never afford good enough gifts to give to the birthday boy or girl.

It was almost a relief when he hit middle school and people stopped inviting him to things. The loneliness hurt, but Jonathan preferred it over the humiliation and mockery that he was sure to experience, should he dare to ever attend one of Carol’s end of summer blowouts, or any get-togethers that Steve hosted prior to the events of last year.

And if he’s honest with himself, it isn’t just Nancy that Jonathan wants to see. She was definitely his priority, because he still thought about her every day, even if he could count the conversations they’d had since Will came home on one hand. He wanted to see her, and talk to her, and maybe even dance with her - an act he’d usually be opposed to, but he’d make an exception for Nancy.

But a small part of him also wants to see Steve. He doesn't know why, given that the two of them haven't spoken since that night. They don't  _ hate  _ each other anymore, but Nancy had seemed unwilling to act as a middleman and Jonathan had been too busy with his family to try and figure out where he and his former bully now stood. It seemed pointless to pursue, and as long as Jonathan was no longer getting called a pervert and being laughed at by the King of Hawkins High and his little posse, he didn’t see why he _should_ care about Steve.

Except he did. Jonathan knew it would be easier to go back to not caring about Steve, like he did back before  _ everything.  _ It seemed like Steve had gone back to not caring about him, after all. But Jonathan had never found it easy to hate, and he knew that he owed Steve his life. Steve saved him that night, because Steve had shown up with the intention to apologise, and was unwillingly dragged into everything.

Jonathan can’t forget that.

There’s still uncertainty bubbling within him, but Jonathan manages to convince himself enough to get out of the car and make his way through groups of drunken teenagers to Tina’s house. He’ll go in, see if he can find Steve and Nancy, stick around if they want him there, and maybe the three of them can finally move past the awkwardness of the past year. Jonathan has never been good at friendships, but he thinks that these two might be his best option, and he knows he can’t avoid them forever.

Besides, they’re the only ones who have even the slightest idea of what he’s been through, and it would be nice to be with people who _understand._

As expected, the music playing is bad and everyone’s too drunk and sweaty for his liking, but he reminds himself that he came here with a purpose. Tina seems to be less exclusive with her guest list than her friends usually are, and Jonathan’s relieved that the first classmate he runs into is a girl he shared art class with freshman year, instead of someone like Tommy H. She tells him that her name is Samantha, and he instantly likes her, even if she seems unimpressed with his joke about dressing up as a guy who hates parties (and really, even if he had always intended to come to this thing, Jonathan wouldn’t have dressed up and risked embarrassment anyway).

He's starting to consider the possibility that coming to this thing wasn't the worst idea in the world when he spots Nancy and Steve over Samantha's shoulder.

The two of them are dancing, Steve grinning brightly while Nancy spins around with a red plastic cup in her hand. Their couple costume does a good job of emphasising Nancy’s beauty and Steve’s coolness, and they look every bit the part of the perfect high school couple. They look young, and carefree, and happy, like they’re just normal teenagers without a care in the world. There’s nothing about them that suggests they fought a monster, or saved Jonathan’s life, or ever gave him - or anyone outside of their little clique - the time of day.

The sight of them strikes Jonathan low in the gut, and he wishes he decided to go straight home when he had the chance, because coming here suddenly feels like the biggest mistake he’s ever made. Steve and Nancy  _ fit  _ together, and Jonathan fits nowhere.

He tries to turn his attention back to Samantha, but it’s pointless when Steve and Nancy are the kind of people that you can’t help but notice. It probably doesn’t help that the two of them seem to be in some kind of fight, and Jonathan knows that he’s not the only one watching them when Nancy spills her drink all over herself.

The house falls silent, and some jackass even turns off the stereo as if it’s some shitty teen movie. There’s a brief moment where Jonathan considers going over there and seeing if there’s anything he can do, but he realises what a bad idea that is the moment Billy lets out a loud laugh. Half the party follows him, including Tommy H and Carol, and it infuriates Jonathan more than he likes, because they're supposed to be Steve's friends.

Nancy storms off, covered in punch, with Steve trailing behind. It’s not until they’re out of earshot that someone turns the music back on, and Steve’s calls of  _ Nance, come on, I’m sorry, wait up,  _ ring in Jonathan’s ears.

“God,” Samantha remarks, snapping Jonathan back to reality, “What’s the drama with the homecoming court?”

Jonathan fakes a smile, because jumping to Steve and Nancy’s defence would probably require explaining his relationship to them, and Jonathan doesn’t even know where to begin with that. Guys like him aren’t supposed to have complicated relationships with girls like Nancy Wheeler and boys like Steve Harrington.

Especially when the three of them refuse to speak about it.

Samantha tries to engage him in a conversation about music, and although she’s got much better taste than most people their age, he can’t muster up any enthusiasm for it. He can’t stop thinking about Steve and Nancy, and he hates himself a little bit for it. Samantha is the kind of person who he should be getting to know: nice and funny and not a fucking sheep, but all Jonathan cares about are two people he barely knows.

He hates himself even more when Steve knocks into him on his way out of the party, sans Nancy and looking like he’s about to cry. Jonathan watches him leave, and something unpleasant twists in his stomach.

“You okay, guy who hates parties?” Samantha asks, and Jonathan knows his face is slightly red when he turns back to her.

“I’m sorry,” he tells her, “You’re cool, really cool for this town, actually, but—”

“You’re friends with Steve Harrington?” she smirks, because they both know that he’s absolutely not the kind of guy that is friends with Steve Harrington.

“Kind of,” he replies, and Samantha looks unconvinced but lets him go with a nod and a raised eyebrow.

Jonathan wonders what the hell his life has become. A year ago, he wouldn’t have been caught dead at a high school party. A year ago, he wouldn’t have passed on hanging out with someone as interesting as Samantha.

A year ago, he would have laughed at the idea of navigating through a crowd of people he hates, just so he can talk to Steve Harrington.

Even after everything that's transpired, this still feels like one of the weirder moments of his life.

It’s not until he finds Steve leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette and sunglasses back on, that Jonathan realises he has no idea what to say to him. He’s not great at confrontation and feelings, and it slowly dawns on him that there’s a good chance that Steve wouldn’t want him here, seeing him like this. That maybe Steve just wants to be left alone, and doesn’t want to talk to anyone, _especially_ Jonathan Byers. 

He considers turning right around and going back to the party. He can give Samantha a proper goodbye, and then go find Nancy and make sure she’s alright. He doesn’t really owe Steve anything, and doesn’t want to humiliate himself in front of Steve if he can avoid it.

He’s still standing there awkwardly when Steve notices him, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and straightening up.

“What do you want, Byers?” he snaps, sounding so much like  _ King Steve  _ that Jonathan flashes back to a year before, cornered in the Hawkins High parking lot and being taunted about how  _ that’s the thing about perverts. It’s hardwired into them. _

But Jonathan doesn’t have a chance to fall into bad memories and self loathing that comes with them, because Steve seems to regret the words as soon as he’s said them, letting out a shaky sigh.

“Shit,” he says, so quiet that Jonathan can barely hear him, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t...I’m not trying to be a dick. It’s just…”

Steve trails off, but his apology seems genuine, and he doesn’t sound like he’s looking for a fight. Jonathan takes it as a sign that he can stay, and he slowly walks over to Steve, leaning against the car beside him.

Steve doesn’t tell him to fuck off, but he doesn’t exactly greet him with enthusiasm either. He just continues to smoke and stare out into the night, ignoring Jonathan like he’s done for most of the past year.

“Are you okay?” Jonathan asks after several minutes, once he realises that Steve isn’t going to be the one to break the silence. Steve gives a hollow laugh in response, and the sound is strangely harsh in the dark night.

“You’re always lurking around, aren’t you?” Steve retorts, still refusing to look at him.

Jonathan resists the urge to roll his eyes at the comment, and just snorts instead. He knows now that Steve’s all bark and no bite, and there’s no real malice in the comment.

“You’re the one who made a scene back there,” he replies, eyeing Steve carefully, “It didn’t seem wise to let you go off on your own.”

Steve lets out a puff of smoke before coughing, although it could just as easily be a sob or a laugh.

“I can take care of myself,” Steve mumbles, and Jonathan thinks there must be a sad truth to that. For all his popularity and grandeur, Steve doesn’t actually seem to have anybody looking out for him. And even if they aren’t friends, Jonathan figures he could do with one right now. He  knows better than anyone how tiring it is to shove everything down and deal with it on your own.

He doesn’t think Steve wants to hear any of that, though, and Jonathan wouldn’t even know how to voice it.

“Did something happen with Nancy?” he asks instead, because there’s no point in avoiding the obvious.

Steve seems to agree, judging by the way he just slides down the car further in response, leaning against Jonathan. He doesn’t go to move away, and it dawns on Jonathan that this is the first time they’ve touched without any negative associations.

Steve’s warn and solid, but the way he’s slumped against him feels defeated, and he sounds just as bad when he finally responds.

“It’s bullshit,” Steve says, and Jonathan frowns in confusion.

“What?”

“It’s bullshit,” he repeats, “We’re bullshit, apparently. I’m bullshit. At least that’s what Nancy thinks.”

Jonathan half expects himself to feel some kind of joy at the knowledge that Steve and Nancy apparently aren’t doing as well as he thought, half expects his lingering feelings for Nancy to flare up in delight. But he just feels  _ sad,  _ the knowledge that Steve is torn up enough about this to talk to him _of_ all people settling uncomfortably in his chest.

“Steve,” Jonathan says softly, unsure if he’s supposed to comfort him or ask for further information.

Steve turns to face him, and even though the dark sunglasses are covering his eyes, Jonathan knows they’re wet and red.

“What?” Steve demands, but there’s nothing harsh in his voice, just a brokenness that hurts Jonathan a little, “You want to gloat?”

There’s a small part of Jonathan that does want to cheer in delight and run back inside to find Nancy, but it’s drowned out by the bigger part of him that’s telling him to stay and comfort his rival over the girl they both love. Too much has happened between them for Jonathan to get caught up in petty high school drama and feelings, and he thinks he understands why Steve is so upset. He knows that if he lost a girl like Nancy Wheeler he’d be distraught, and he’s seen the way Steve looks at her, with nothing short of adoration.

He doesn’t deserve to be punished any more tonight.

“No, Steve, c’mon,” Jonathan says, shaking his head, “I meant what I said. I just...wanted to see if you were okay. So. Are you?”

Steve is silent for a moment, and then he stubs out his cigarette on the pavement as he turns away from Jonathan again. “Why do you even care, Byers? If the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t be doing this shit for you.”

And maybe it’s somewhat true, because Jonathan can’t ever picture Steve comforting him over a girl. But Jonathan knows Steve wouldn’t let him go off alone and upset - at least not the Steve he knows now. The Old Steve would have laughed at Jonathan and called him names to his retreating back, but he’s not that person anymore. The Old Steve wouldn’t have sacrificed his friendship with Tommy H and Carol, wouldn’t have banged on the door that night while begging for forgiveness, wouldn’t have come to the hospital with them, and stayed for hours just to make sure that Will was okay. The New Steve has a good heart buried underneath all the wealth and popularity, and Jonathan doesn't understand why Steve can't see the goodness within himself.

“Since when did Steve Harrington think so poorly of himself?” Jonathan asks, trying for a smile even though Steve won’t look at him, “You’re not the bad guy you think you are. Now that you’ve stopped trying to be one, anyway.”

“You don’t need to lie,” he replies, finally taking off his glasses and locking eyes with Jonathan, who swallows as he takes in how _broken_ Steve looks without them, “It’s fine. I'm an asshole. Nancy's probably right to dump me.”

It’s one of the last things that Jonathan expected to hear, and as the words sink in, he realises that he didn’t  _ want  _ to hear them either. He’s barely friends with Nancy, let alone Steve, but he still cares about them. Nancy deserves to be happy, but so does Steve, and Jonathan was fine to step out of the picture so that they could have that. It didn’t make him any less jealous, but he didn’t feel anger when he looked at them, the way he had when Steve broke his camera and Nancy stood by him. They're good people, and they earned their right to have a high school fairytale romance.

“Steve, no, you’re not an asshole,” he says, and Steve laughs a little and rolls his eyes, and his disbelief and insecurities inspire a strange passion in Jonathan.

“No, I’m serious,” he presses on “Yeah, you did some shitty things. But that was a year ago. You’ve proved yourself since then, okay? I don’t think you’re a bad person, and neither does Nancy. Whatever is going on between you two…you’ll work it out. You love her. And she loves you too.”

Steve still looks unconvinced, and Jonathan surprises himself when he reaches forward to squeeze Steve’s shoulder.

He’s even more surprised when Steve doesn’t shrug him off.

“Come on, man. How could she not like a guy like you?”

Steve stares at him for a moment, as if searching for what to say, and Jonathan tries to figure out just  _ one _ of the thoughts that are racing through Steve’s head right now. But they’re still basically strangers, and if there’s one thing Jonathan has learned in the past year, it’s that Steve is unpredictable.

After what feels like a lifetime, Steve sniffs, running a hand through his hair before saying, “Maybe. I don’t know. But...thanks, Byers. You didn’t have to follow me. Or talk to me.”

Jonathan knows that he didn’t, but he wanted to, for reasons he still can’t figure out. But that seems too heavy to say to Steve, so he shrugs instead.

“Let’s just say you owe me one.”

“Owe you two, actually,” he says, shifting off the car and nodding back towards Tina’s house, and Jonathan frowns in confusion. 

“I know you’ve already done enough shit for me tonight, but could you take Nancy home for me?” Steve asks, wiping at his eyes, “I don’t want to leave her alone but…I really don’t think she wants me right now. Just get her home safe for me. Please.”

Jonathan nods, stepping aside so Steve can open up his car door.

“Yeah, sure,” he replies, because even if Steve hadn’t asked, he’d still have done it for Nancy, “Are you gonna be alright?”

Steve looks back at him, and gives Jonathan a small smile. Jonathan smiles back, but he knows it’s even smaller.

“Thank you. You’re a good person, Jonathan,” Steve tells him, before climbing into his car. Jonathan watches him drive away, and he's left with the horrible realisation that Steve might understand his loneliness better than anyone else.

* * *

It’s not until he’s driving to the Wheeler house, Nancy half asleep and drunk in the passenger seat, that Jonathan realises Steve never answered the question.

**Author's Note:**

> endless thanks to milo for being my fellow stonathan stanathan and for helping me out with this. you're my person.  
> i'm tibby on tumblr if anyone wants to say hi.  
> love, as always,  
> xx ladystark


End file.
